The Precious Prince - A Faerie Tale

Posted in The Honey Badger Diaries

The Precious Prince - A Faerie Tale

Once upon a time there was a *handsome Prince and Princess and all they wanted to do was travel, she wanted to see the world, he was less ambitious, but would concede. A tad. His passion is Botswana, Namibia and a little bit of Mozambique. Although if truth be told he would venture forth to Zimbabwe, Zambia, Zanzibar and Zaire. She believes where there’s a road they must follow.

Although they are a dream team and know that compromise is the name of the game they are troubled by Marie Antoinette and the current state of affairs in their land.  The tiny pot of gold they've saved might turn into a pot of copper. Never the less it's exciting and nerve wrecking. And, the possibilities are endless. They are going to redefine retirement radically.

First off the bat was finding the perfect carriage. The gallant Prince set off at a steady pace and searched high and low. The word was out and messages started pouring in from all over the kingdom. Fortunately they’re living in a global village and his search could be done at the click of a mouse. Soon Google became his best friend and through the looking glass he found Gumtree. For 14 months they fired up their faithful Ruby Coach and went in search of a robust work horse.

Just before all hope was lost, (he loves setting targets and time frames), they found their Isuzu. A fine Honey Badger. Strong, tough, resilient, robust and fearless.

The princess loves the Honey Badger but, it needs modification. The prince, who adores the princess, agreed and set upon the task of renovating, revamping and remodelling the vehicle to suit their lifestyle, needs and expectations. The Princess immediately started making her own shopping list, the Prince almost choked, but, remained perfectly calm when he reminded his beloved that they have a budget. He also broke the spell when he told her that believing in treasure filled coffers is a fairy tale*.

It wasn’t long before congratulations started pouring in from far and wide. The couple are still amazed by the enthusiasm all their friends and acquaintances show. One day the Prince arrived at the panel beaters to be informed that the Earl of Porter Street had fallen passionately in love with the project and the Prince should contact him immediately.

This came as a great surprise as the Earl is a most brilliant man. In all the Kingdom there isn’t anyone quite like him. He is clever, passionate, enthusiastic, determined, courageous and immensely creative, practical and positive. Why did he want to see the Prince you wonder? This is no ordinary guy, he's an adventurer who has travelled the world in planes, trains and automobiles. His resume is as long as your arm; an inventor, winemaker, farmer, engineer (he was behind the cantilever of our famous bridge to the Huguenot Tunnel), musician and gentleman.  

The Earl offered to help with their project and wouldn’t take no for an answer. The Prince was so overwhelmed by this generous offer that he was speechless and got all choked up. You see the Prince is often surprised and perplexed by kindness and his emotions can get the better of him. He couldn’t believe his good fortune and was reminded to count his blessings.

Without a moments delay the Earl employed his two trusted workmen, Hymie and Leon to start with the dismantling of the vehicle. Armed with blow torches, grinders and welders they stripped the box in no time. Within the week an opening was made from the box to the cab, all the panelling was removed, the “skirt” and guardrail was dismantled and the clearance of the tailgate modified.

The Earl and the Prince have regular meetings and on occasion sample their favourite tipple, a smooth single Malt while pondering their progress and dreaming of future travels. The Earl has solemnly sworn that he will be joining the Prince in some faraway land to celebrate his French heritage and charmed African childhood.

Le dessinateur (draftsman), who is the Earls’ righthand man and a girl to boot, has drawn up plans to perfect scale so that the Prince and Princess can get stuck in and design their living quarters. Now moving around cardboard cut-outs of beds, fridges, dining areas, bathrooms, and kitchens have replaced traditional courtly games of checkers and chess. Soon the Earl will have the title ‘Coachbuilder’ to add to his list of impressive titles.

Rumour has it that building an royal carriage can cause tensions and disputes in the kingdom, but, the fiery Princess, who, by birth, was a brave Knight, sincerely hopes she never has to use magic powers to make the headstrong prince see reason. She needs her Le Creuset saucepans, washing machine, fine linens, a comfortable bed, stand-up refrigerator and last but not least an excellent shower to remain cool, calm and collected. Fortunately she knows the kind old Prince will do everything in his power to have peace and quiet in the land. He never misses the bumper sticker "happy wife happy life" when she occasionally fires up and zooms off on her broom stick.

*Fortunately she still believes in the Easter Bunny, they saw two rabbits using the pedestrian crossing near the Primary School just last week.

*The Prince will only be referred to as "handsome" once as they're inclined to get swollen heads.  We must always remember who wears the tiara in this story.

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