Missive From Glam'ma

“Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.”
― Alan Simpson

You’re not a twinkle in your Fathers’ eye anymore you’re a reality, I saw you in all your glory on What’s App when your Mom sent us the sonar photograph. Welcome to the womb my sweet boy!
When I was a girl my Granny used to send me postcards from all over the world, I loved them and eagerly awaited them as a child. She was an avid traveller and with words and pictures she made herself known to me and I visualised her in all these exotic places doing daring things.

Today I’m not going to introduce myself to you, but your Dad; I think it’s a grand idea for you to know the man he is before you’re formally introduced by a Gynaecologist in a few months time. Forewarned is forearmed they say.

He was born on the 20th September 1982 on a Monday. In the Mother Goose nursery rhyme it’s “Mondays Child is full of grace”. According to the Chinese calendar he was born during the year of the dog (he’s not crazy about dogs) and Virgo is his Zodiac sign. His lucky number is 8 and according to those that know his favourite day should be a Monday.

According to the Native American calendar your Dad is an OWL and this is what they say: “Owls, which have been called cats with wings, are the silent hunters of the night, which makes them the keepers of secrets. These solitary birds don't feel the need to proclaim their presence to anyone until the timing is right. Owl comes to us when we need to open our eyes, and study the situation at hand. If we watch and listen with our inner selves we can figure out what is happening behind the scenes, and confront those who are trying to deceive us at the appropriate time.”

When I was pregnant with your Dad I didn’t have the luxury of an all knowing all telling Sonar, I did however know he had all his extremities but we had to wait a full 42 weeks for him to make his rapid and virtually painless appearance. He weighed in at a massive 10lbs 5oz. He was beautiful, with a bald head, huge hands and feet, muscled thighs and we could see he was a very healthy boy. We were delighted, our second son, a soul mate and a lifetime friend for his elder brother.

He was a delightful baby, as long as he was fed, dry and burped. He could sleep for hours and on more than one occasion I did the mirror test to see whether he was still breathing. He was eager to catch up with his brother so most of his milestones were quickly reached, he hardly crawled before he walked and then ran. In my minds’ eye I always see him decked out in his favourite red overall with a large yellow floppy hat on his head, pushing his big Massey Ferguson tractor. He was boisterous, energetic and inventive. To me he epitomised my brother who is kind, soft spoken, gentle and caring. When they smile their faces light up with joy and their toothy grins are infectious.

The Earth is what he loves, playing in it for hours, digging, shovelling and moving it from one end of the garden to the other. When he discovered the sea he was delighted and one day told me he would be a fisherman in Gansbaai. He loved the solitude and peace he found there and would sit for hours with a fishing rod trying his luck.

As gentle as he was though he could get really irritated, he didn’t suffer fools graciously and didn’t spare the punches physically or verbally. He was delighted when his Dad bought his first ski-boat but really humiliated when it proved to be a leaking tub and had to be towed into harbour by a jet-ski.

He was Captain Courageous, fearless, impulsive and devil-may-care, I vividly remember him falling off his bicycle, skidding face-down on the tar road, getting up, face a mangled mess of gravel and blood just to get back on his bike and peddle on.  He built go-carts spending hours perfecting the steering and alignment but neglected the braking system!  The first test drive was down a steep hill!

He challenged us in many ways as he is strong-willed, determined and single-minded in all his pursuits, proving himself is a matter of honour and failure not an easy thing to accept, learning from his mistakes is unacceptable and desperately disappointing, no matter how trivial he finds his own shortcomings devasting.  He is a loyal and trustworthy friend even if it's to his detriment and would bravely shoulder the blame and never let on who's at fault.  Like the three Musketeers it's always all for one and one for all.

Punctuality was not a strong suit and he could while away the hours dreaming his dreams, the trek to school, two blocks away a mountain too high to climb and I’d find him dawdling hours after he was meant to be at school. As you’ll see one day he’s very competitive and loves sport, he was a brilliant long distance runner, rugby player, cricketer and a crack shot. I was his first bulls-eye when he almost catapulted me into oblivion when the small stone hit me right between the eyes. This after I’d warned him not to take a shot at anyone. He was 4!

His determination is something to admire, and at the age of 6 he completed a 22km cycling tour going uphill and down dale at lightning speeds on a juvenile bike with “perm tubes” and no gears. He was hot and sweaty, dehydrated and exhausted never stopping at any of the watering holes and came flying in at the finish line well before many adult riders. This courage and sheer bloody mindedness made him excel at Cross country running and long distance athletics.

Your Dad’s life changed when he married your Mom, she makes him whole, gives him purpose and I believe she’s his best friend, soul mate and life partner in the true sense of the word. According to the Bible he is commanded to LOVE her. I know he does, with his whole heart and soul. He speaks of their life together with pride and he’s eagerly awaiting and preparing for your arrival.

I know his life and his outlook on life is going to change the minute you make an appearance, he will love you unconditionally, he will care for you to the best of his ability and with your birth you will cement their foundations. We all, and especially your father, needs a family with the bonds of love and unity it offers and I know he’ll do everything to provide a happy, safe and loving home for you.  I can confidently say he'll be the best dad you'll ever have or wish to have.  You're lucky.

Children are always an improvement of the template as I’m sure you will be too, having the best traits from your Mum and your Dad. You have already shown your mettle, your fighting spirit and will to live and determination, a lot like your brave, dynamic and funny Dad. I can’t wait to meet you and see the miracle they produced.

I’m not too sure how to sign off as I could be your Gogo (African), Ouma (Afrikaans) Grandma (English) Oumie or Granny (like I did) or Glam’ma (new age). I think I’ll wait and see what you choose.

P.S I had amazing grandparents; they loved us unconditionally but did expect Thank you letters! My Granny Jo also said “one can’t be too thin or too rich” and from an early age instilled in me a love of books, gardening, travelling, bridge, smoking, Champagne, Gin and Tonic oh and last but not least Chicken a la King from a tin. My boy says I’m a hell driver; I got that from her too. From my Ouma I learnt to be brave, to wear red lipstick, to be groomed and sometimes sophisticated, she also bequeathed to me her most valuable trait, her love of words, learning and writing stories. I hope you pick up some quirkiness’s from me!

P.S.S You and I are lucky we live in the age of technology, information and communication, we’ll Skype, WhatsApp, Twitter, be buddies on FaceBook, FaceTime will be our preferred form of communication, I’ll see you grow up on Instagram, we’ll play Trivia crack and Scrabble as soon as you can spell! Wow, What a wonderful world it is Master Jack.

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