PAMPERED, PARENTING GOES PEARSHAPED

Parenting at its best is difficult. Few know the rules, and when we slip up, it’s with the best of intentions. Sharing these struggles can help us feel understood and less alone in our challenges. 

No matter my age, I’ve always been a child in my parents' eyes; they were all-knowing, all-seeing, and always there.  So why am I surprised that it’s all gone pear-shaped?

Love. That double-edged sword.

This year has been marked by the passage of time. Suddenly I see the lines on the faces of my oldest friends. Their hearing has gone, their eyesight not too bright. Their shoulders are more stooped, their necks stiffer, and their joints swollen. We bellow at the bridge table and bite our tongues lest we’re misunderstood! It’s time to say what we feel, to make memories before their clocks stop and they’re no more. Forewarned is forearmed.

Yet I still get shocked so easily, even though I brace myself and remind myself I should never be surprised by anything anyone does or says. When my father silently entered my kitchen yesterday, hands wringing and quietly saying they weren’t staying too long because they were expecting a buyer for their house, I felt a deep ache of loss and nostalgia. My legs turned to jelly, and my chest hurt, as if a part of my history were slipping away.  

I know it’s time, but I can’t get my head around it. My parents, timeless, rock-solid and dependable. I see their frailty, their tiredness, and the stress of keeping it all together. Yet I don’t understand. Denial is in my head. Reality sits in my chest like a rock, making it hard to cry, swallow or breathe. How do I get to grips with it all?

“Adrift” is what it feels like on a vast grey sea.  I don’t see horizons, silver linings, or land.  It’s frightening.  Remember, I get seasick; I wish I could say.

Not surprisingly, the wonderful treatment a friend gave me last week is hardly visible now.  She must’ve seen the need for a relaxing facial when she saw me dragging my feet, unenthusiastic, up the road.  

Juliette’s career as a Nail Technician began in October 2007.  Her career is her passion, and she studied as much as she could fit into her busy day.  Planet Nails is where she trained in Bio Sculpture, NSI, Le Chat, and PNB.  Later, she broadened her horizons by adding waxing, tinting, make-up, eyelash extensions, and manicure and pedicure to her repertoire.  She attended Cosmotech training using Placecol and worked with their products for a year.    Currently, she’s a trainer and Educator in nail systems, eyelash extensions, waxing and make-up.   I love browsing through the stock in her beauty supply section!

My facial was done using Hannon products, and I got an extra special boost from the Galvanic Facial Machine. To top it all off, I was indulged with a hot stone neck and shoulder massage! 

I left Juliette’s salon feeling refreshed, relaxed and rejuvenated!

For an appointment, call: +27 83 605 8444

A few more days of being spoilt by having my son and his gorgeous Emily here will have to suffice, as I treasure the hours I’m allotted while they do their touristy thing in the Western Cape. I try to take as many photographs as I can and to record our conversations in my mind. The stone in my chest weighs me down as I prepare for the empty months ahead. Oh, my mother’s heart. Unprepared, I must weather the storms on this high sea of doubt, loneliness, and insecurity as we, as a family, make so many life-changing decisions. I want to shout, “Dad, do not go gentle into that good night; you must rage, rage, as Dylan Thomas wrote, but I know it’s time to go where life will be quieter, gentler, and easier. Selfishly, I wonder what I will do when I drive past their gate?

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Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night - Poem by Dylan Thomas