R is For Rhino Rob Restaurants and Red Wine - A Review

Animals, beer and braai, and scenic spots like Hermanus and Long Street were highlights, showcasing the diverse experiences across A-Zee.

But we had to meet the boy first. Forewarned is forearmed, and we’d only heard good things—the usual: he's nice, bright, and fun, a petrolhead, tall, dark, and dashing, a blue-eyed boy who snowboards like a pro and loves anything Toyota!

I think we managed to show him a good time: he did Karaoke in Johannesburg and crooned along to Amy Winehouse; he experienced the best of Kruger, saw herds of elephants, and more. The only excursion that might’ve been a little disappointing was the fishing. Still, the weather in the Cape is unpredictable, and fishing tales are always tall tales, so realistically, the two small Stumpnose they brought home weren’t bad for a day out.

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Table Mountain is always impressive; the V&A Waterfront didn’t disappoint; it was pumping; Michael Bublé was in town; and The World was docked in the harbour. Green Market Square, with its colourful stalls and people, invites browsing and a quick dip into a purse for a few collectibles. Parking was a mission, and the restaurants were chock-full. They went to Simon's Town, had breakfast in Stellenbosch, and had lunch in Franschhoek, where shopping is exclusive, and the air is French. Struisbaai has a lighthouse, and a photograph at the southernmost tip of Africa is mandatory.

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Creation in the Hemel-en-Aarde Valley was the perfect setting for a wine-tasting and food-pairing experience. The wines, poured from the bottle, from the first drop of Pod to the last drop of red, were delicious, and the tiny morsels were beautifully crafted and plated, tasting scrumptious. Everyone became very vocal and knowledgeable about palates, bouquets, and noses. It was a humble Tuesday when we went to Creation, but it was busy and buzzing with guests, many still arriving at 15h30. The new tar road is still a work in progress, so at times we had delays and potholes to contend with, but this inconvenience didn’t seem to put anyone off. Lunch ticked all the boxes, and we left with a case of wine too.

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LEMON BUTTA in Hermanus served the dish of the day when we went there. In addition to delicious oysters and sushi for starters, my salmon pasta was heavenly. The fish curry looked and tasted divine and didn’t need salsa or sambal to enhance the experience. The seared tuna, rolled in black sesame seeds, looked and tasted fabulous, and Precious says it was certainly the best he’s ever tasted. It earned 10/10 from all diners. Sofie T’blanche didn’t disappoint either. The views were amazing, and we had the perfect window seat on a cloudless, breathless day. The crème brûlée cracked like glass, and the crème was silky-smooth and delicious.

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For sundowners, we went to the Tapas Food and Wine Bar in Hermanus, always a good choice if you’ve stopped for a drink and plan to head elsewhere for dinner. The nachos come with a twist; the crisps are made from baked pastry rather than the traditional corn chips we’re accustomed to. A large portion is served, so be careful; a starter portion should suffice. The condiments are good. We enjoyed the Buffalo wings and Riblets on one occasion and the deep-fried mushrooms on another. On a Friday evening, the live music sets the mood for romantic interludes.

TAPAS FOOD AND WINE BAR HERMANUS

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Hildebrand’s at the V&A Waterfront is one of my favourite Italian eateries, and we weren’t disappointed. Always busy. An old favourite with a good menu, Hildebrand’s served a rich, flavourful Crayfish Thermidor, though it was a bit ambitious. A grilled crayfish might’ve been a better choice. I enjoyed my pasta with a mushroom sauce. The evening was relaxed amid the mayhem of a very busy Waterfront. I enjoyed being addressed as “Madame” by a French-speaking waiter. It made my day. I could say “oui-oui” and “bonne nuit”.

Hildebrand

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The Hassar Grill in Sea Point serves the perfect steak. Period. Solid, well-hung, thick steaks. Perfectly grilled and served without fuss. All the usual suspects are on offer: chips, mash, and baked potato, with sauces to match. If you’ve got a “good steak” on your to-do list, look no further. Booking is essential.

HASSAR GRILL

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Gabriel’s Kloof on the N2 is just bliss. We had lunch there. I love it when someone has a vision, executes it, and does so with aplomb. Here, you see all of the above.  

What was once grazing land for sheep in Caledon has become Italianesque rolling hills of vineyards, with a cellar, eatery, wine-tasting center, chapel, and event venue. You’ll find us here on a Friday afternoon, sipping a cappuccino or an Americano while stocking up on delicious deli goodies for the weekend.

The cake and pastry table displays delectable treats that always hit the mark in the mid-afternoon. We were a large party of friends, so I can’t comment on every plate served; suffice it to say, they all looked fabulous.

Silence speaks louder than words, and once everyone was tucked in, you could hear a pin drop. I had a smoked pork hamburger; my friend had the regular beef burger, which I’d prefer next time. Mine was slightly dry and a tad tough. I might’ve had too much sparkling water!

GABRIEL’S KLOOF WINERY

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I’d love to live in a city, and if I lived in Green Point, I’d nip down to Giovanni’s Deli on Main Road every morning for a Pain Chocolat, coffee, and the newspaper. Then I’d browse the deli and pick up some delectable, freshly baked bread and pastries for morning coffee, along with a selection of Italian cured meats, pâtés, and salads for lunch. Before heading to the register, I’d catch up on the latest imports, and after another delicious coffee and a chat with the locals, I’d head home. What a life. I'd wear leopard prints, mules, Prada, and red lipstick.

GIOVANNI’S DELI WORLD

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When asked what their favourite meal was, the children unanimously said “MOLTENOS.” Can you believe it? Our local eatery is less than 500 meters from our cottage. This is our home kitchen; here, the locals congregate religiously. If you’re new to the village, best you get there; you’ll feel at home, and all it takes is a “Cheers” to make you part of the family.

The best mussels in a white-wine-and-cream sauce, with a huge garlic punch. Sirloin steaks, perfectly aged and grilled. Even the evergreen Fillet got the thumbs-up. Classic no-fuss pizzas, thin as newspaper and crispy. Both Lise and Rob loved the fresh Kingklip on their first evening and called it brilliant.

The classic Nicoise salad is always a good starter choice, with just the right amount of anchovy. The grilled prawn starter is perfect as a main course for the “not-so-hungry,” and the garlic butter is what it is. We loved the new steak knives! Desserts are unimaginative, but the Pecan Pie is a great alternative. We always have something sweet at home.

My child rekindled old childhood memories with meals at Wimpy, KFC, The Spur, McDonald's, and probably every other fast-food chain in the land. But who am I to criticize when I love a crispy drumstick, mash and gravy with a tub of coleslaw and a paper serviette!   She almost cried when she couldn’t order her favourite Chicken and Mushroom Pizza from Devonaires. Today I’d do anything to have her back and feed her all that junk!

On Long Street, Joe Soap treated himself to a new watch at the ever-trendy Rip Curl store, very suave, I must say. But when the SMS from his bank confirming the transaction arrived, he realized he’d only received a 10% discount instead of the advertised 30%. Fortunately, he doesn’t take no for an answer. Since we were at the Waterfront at the time, he popped into the branch there, made his point, and didn’t back down or relent. Fortunately, the manager at Rip Curl used his discretion, a credit was issued, and everyone walked out happy! I'm sure it was an honest oversight, but it does remind us to check our change, receipts, and bank statements.

RIP CURL

To see where everything hip happens in Cape Town:

http://www.capetownmagazine.com/ 

RE-DISCOVERED FLAVOUR OF THE MONTH: FELICITÉ ROSÉ

Nectar of the gods in my books. This is what they say:

ROSÉ 2014

The Newton Johnson family produced its first rosé in this dry style back in 1998. A vineyard should be specially designated and harvested earlier for rosé production. Shiraz delivers delicate berry flavours at these lower ripeness levels, blushed with colour to accentuate lightness.

R320, Hemel-en-Aarde Valley, Hermanus, 7200

Tel: 028 312 3862

Website: www.newtonjohnson.com 

How lucky we were to have the privilege of getting to know you a little better. You are a fine fellow with a good sense of humour; you’re always ready to try something new and are adventurous, friendly, well-versed, and well-read. You’re a match for our daughter, who keeps us all on our toes. We respect and admire the way you took a back seat, took the punches, and rolled with it so we could spend as much time as possible with our girl, never expecting anything in return. Thank you for accepting us with all our quirks and strange habits, like kissing and hugging all the time. Africa is no place for sissies, and you took it all in, expecting little and giving much.

It is a land of stark contrasts, and like its landscape, it changes all the time, now green and lush, then barren, hard, dry, and hot. I think we managed to show you both sides of the coin, as well as our love and pride in our land. You saw us cry with pride when the Proteas won their matches, and then we wept at our loss. I think you saw that rugby and braaiing aren’t the Alpha and Omega. We are a Rainbow Nation, and, with good reason, we ask God to bless Africa as we sing or pray. I think you felt our camaraderie, our love for family and friends, our loyalty to our fellow citizens, and the passion with which we live.

You arrived looking pale and fatigued; I do believe we gave you a flashy tan. Your dictionary now includes South African phrases like Izzit, Ag no shame, ag shame, ja-nee (although I think that one got you), No! really? howzit? lekker, jislaaik, just now, and now-now. Here’s a new one to learn: Brandewyn het nie brieke nie!

Golden Rule: You never bugger around with someone else's braai, and a steak or chop must be at least 3 inches thick. Rump or sirloin is the steak of choice, and fillet is for sissies. Build a good relationship with your butcher; he's your new best friend. Biltong, droëwors, and chili bites are fabulous. Much better than jerky. Bovril, Mrs. Balls, All Gold, Piri-Piri, and Black Cat peanut butter are staples. Jelly is a dessert, and jam is what one eats on bread with cheese. 

Final Lesson: Life is like a dung beetle rolling its ball; you slog and slave, push and roll until you finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and then you're flattened by an unsuspecting eejit who didn't even know you existed. Some people will see the difference you make or the effort it takes; some will even be sad, but on the whole, you must live your life as best you can, making the most of every precious second.

You know what a bakkie is, and you understand why we love it so much. Traffic lights are robots, and red means GO! Taxi takes on a whole new meaning here, and Uber is the way to go. We look people in the eye when we wish them good health and say "Cheers!" You loved our diversity and creativity. You enjoyed our exciting food culture, saw how friendly we are, and experienced how far your CAN$ goes. We hope you’ll keep it all in mind and return soon. There’s still so much to learn, see, and experience. You were baffled, confused, and dismayed; it was a culture shock, but one we embraced.

We can never thank you enough for your generosity, kindness, and friendship. Ag, shame you’re a good guy, and you certainly earned a nod, buddy. We send you back as an honorary Ambassador.