Announcing The Birth Of A Grandbaby - From Glama

First off the bat: You look like me!  We’re two peas in a pod and don’t let anyone tell you differently!  That sweet button nose, those clear, enormous eyes and those pianist's fingers, exactly.  I know someone will try to mention liver spots, crow's feet, laughter lines, fallen arches, and grey hair in one sentence, but they’re just jealous.

Welcome to the world, Neil Timothy; we’ve been waiting for you with bated breath. Your arrival is a proud moment for our family, continuing our cherished traditions and values.  We held our collective breath from the first sonogram until now to make sure we weren’t imagining things, but there you were, a dot with a strong heartbeat, one that wasn’t going to quit no matter what.

Your mum carried you like a pro; she was beautiful, and with each month she just blossomed and grew into a confident woman who was eagerly awaiting your arrival.  We watched as your parents transformed their new home from a single couple's house into a home for a family.   All his skills were put to the test as your dad sawed, chopped and changed, hammered, painted and re-decorated your room into a hunter’s cabin fit for a prince.

These things take time, and they used the nine-month waiting period to get everything just right.  While you were growing from a two-cell pipsqueak, they got themselves mentally, physically, and emotionally ready for you.   And as you grew stronger, they got more confident and into the swing of things.

It was while your uncles were putting willow to leather that you decided you were ready to make your entrance, and your mom’s waters broke.  Everyone’s happy as it’s a sure sign you’ll be following family traditions.  Your Great-Great-Grandmother Joey Ross Frames Knight was a fast bowler for Kimberly in the early 1900s; your Great-Grandfather Tim Knight would’ve played, I’m sure, as I can’t imagine any South African school worth their salt not having cricket as a compulsory sport.  My brothers and I played cricket on the lawn on our farm, and I was a score-keeper in primary school. Your dad and uncles loved the game and were regular visitors to the world-famous cricket grounds in Newlands, Cape Town, where they regularly got the players’ autographs.  Your uncle Joe did a splendid job as wicketkeeper until he decided to take up hockey as his major sport.

And so the waiting began; we were convinced you’d be impatient. We would kick and push ourselves out into the world as fast as possible, but then I remembered your dad loved the womb. Doctors did all they could to bring on his birth, but he was adamant he was going nowhere and for two weeks after the due date he just lolled about in those gorgeous warm waters, kicking my ribs and bladder.  When he did decide to grace us with his presence, he didn’t dally; once my waters broke, it was a matter of minutes, and there he was, weighing in at 4.8kg. He was a beautiful specimen with muscled legs, large hands and, if I remember a six-pack correctly, too.

We all loved him immediately, and I adored him.  A friend once said, “From the minute Timmy was born, he tried getting back into the womb!”  I remember how he slept through the night at just a few weeks old, which made me feel proud and grateful for his amiable nature.  On one occasion I put him to bed at 14h00 in the afternoon, and he only awoke at 6 o’clock the next morning.  That’s when I had to resort to using the mirror to see whether he was still breathing.  You’ll see, it will probably happen to you too; they’ll be bending down low over your crib, they’ll place the mirror right up into your face, and then they’ll wait for you to puff like the magic dragon. 

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A large part of the world stopped yesterday to wait for you to arrive; messages were flying about asking about each contraction, the length of the contraction, how far your Mom had dilated, and the exact time of your birth at [specific time]. I had to recharge my fabulous iPhone twice!  Your Aunt Lise took the day off work to be of assistance to you all, and she did a marvellous job; I think she just had to see you first.  Even Joe, who has a very busy schedule and is seldom available, left both his dogs and his job to dash down to the hospital to be with your Dad, and to see you as you hit the deck.

There were smiles and tears all round when you were born very early this morning (Africa time). I could hardly sleep and even heard the first motorcars go off to work this morning. You are healthy and perfect, and I can't wait for you to meet everyone and see how adorable you are.

You’ve got good genes: reliable, capable, strong, loving, kind, hardworking and determined.  Your looks should be film-star quality, as I mentioned before, and I’m waiting to see whether you are a blonde like your dad or darker like your gorgeous mom.  I believe all babies have blue eyes. I wonder whether they’ll remain that way, like your dad's.  All our hopes are on you for sport; your shoulders will have to be broad as you have the weight of the sporting world on them.  We love the following sports, and your dad excelled at many: cross-country running, athletics, rugby, cricket, swimming, skiing, diving, and silly buggers. We pray for your happiness, health, and success in all your endeavours, and we look forward to watching you grow into a wonderful person.

We enjoy laughing a lot, and your father is right up there with the best of them, so I hope you have a good sense of humour. You must be very careful and quick-witted with your uncle Jaco; he’s as sharp as a dart and loves taking the Mickey out of everyone.  He may look serious considering you’ll only see his knees for the first five years. But he’s funny; lend him your ears.   Uncle Joe is a magician; he might be a little rusty, but he always has a trick up his sleeve!

You have more cousins, second cousins, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces and grandparents than you can imagine and even great-grandparents, and they all want their pound of flesh; they’ll tease you, flirt with you, play with you, love you and adore you.  Some live as far away as Australia, South Africa, the United States of America, Saudi Arabia and, of course, Canada; there's one you might see surfing in some third-world South American country and another on the high seas nursing, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Myself, I'd go with the aunts; they're a cool bunch. Big Ern can teach you everything you want to know about music, iPads, and chilling out.  Your aunt Lise will teach you about being brave and strong and taking anyone on; she's like a honey badger. Once she's got your back, she'll not let go.

So at last you were born at 7.19 pm on the 11th of May 2015 to an exhausted mother and nervous but elated father, weighing in at 7 lbs 2 oz (3.22 kg), and you're 52.75cm tall.

Your name is NEIL TIMOTHY, and your great-great-grandfather Tim is very pleased; your uncle Mark, AKA Timothy, is thrilled, and your dad, Timmy, will probably call himself Tim now that he’s completely grown up.  So you see you have a noble name following a long succession of amazing men who have borne their names with pride.

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Here’s a definition:

TIMOTHY:

1. a person with confidence.
2. a.k.a. Mr. congeniality. Whenever you are with him, you never have to worry about getting lost in a faraway place! He can start a conversation with almost all kinds of people. I guess everybody knows him!
3. means FAST, swift, agile, exhilarating. Maybe because he's too skinny. Haha, you will be surprised by how fast he moves. His swift motions are crazy!
4. Undoubtedly kind and sweet. He makes everyone feel good, and he treats everyone nicely.
5. Eats more than an average teenager could ever digest. Surprisingly, he never gains a pound!
6. He is simply funny and fun to be with. You will never be bored whenever you are with Timothy. Just beware he can be a very, very weird geek. Haha.
7. Smart and charismatic.
8. He has the traits of a brilliant entrepreneur. "Timothy" will surely be rich! Girl1: Hey, do you know Timothy? Girl2: Yeah! Who on earth doesn't know him?

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Neil:

A ‘Neil’ is a person of exceptional intellect who shows moral character, charm, wit, and good manners in everything he does.

Sean is not a Neil. He is an anti-Neil.  To ruin a perfectly good stream of funny jokes by telling an atrocious one.  “Thanks a lot, you just Neiled it.

Neil (Neal) is a masculine given name of Gaelic origin. The name is an Anglicisation of the Irish Niall, which is of disputed derivation. The Irish name may be derived from words meaning “cloud”, “passionate”, or “champion".

I’m happy to report that I’ve been wearing the beautiful Glama T-shirt your Mommy bought me; it hugs my curves perfectly. I’ve received many raised eyebrows from people who must be surprised to see Glam’ma on the front!  I’ll treasure the charm bracelet; it will tinkle while I work, type, exercise, and even sleep, as do my bracelets, which were perfect when your dad grew up- like a cowbell, he could find me anywhere.

Tip from your Glama: don’t do anything anyone expects of you at this stage; go with the flow. They’re all going to run after you for the next couple of years, swanning you and trying to win your favour.    Grandpa and I will always be here for you, so all you have to do is press our buttons.  We’ll show them!

You may not know it but nowadays there’s no such thing as handwritten letters unless it’s an account, everything gets put on the Web, so before you can have your first burp you’ll be on Facebook, people will Twitter about you, they’ll Google you, and Blog about you (like me) there’ll be photos of you on Instagram and some smarty pants has probably got you on YouTube, we’ll be able to FaceTime you and I.  Who knows, you might even have your own website by now.  I think before long you’ll have more followers than Justin Bieber; he’s a precocious 20-year-old singer with a big attitude.  But rest assured, if we (be techno smart) can do it, Buddy, anyone can.

Our prayer is for your safety, your health, that you’ll be loved unconditionally, and that your feet will be swift but always on the ground.  Oh, and last but not least, your Great Grandmother and I will pray for you every day, come rain or shine.   Always good to know.  So now I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you, and may His face shine upon you today and every day!

With all my love,

Your greatest and very first fan and “follower”,

Glam’ma

P.S  I "LIKE" you a lot.