Glamping In Style - Have Keys and Wheels Will Travel

(Drum Roll, Drum Roll, choir of angels) Right off the bat, please accept my apologies; I will be boasting in this blog. I think I have every reason to. I know! I know it’s very rude. But then, so be it. Please indulge me. Every time I alight from our carriage, I feel I have arrived.

We were tickled pink when, on a beautiful sunny day, we were told we could fetch our baby. She was ready for us, shiny and new. We went through her with a fine-toothed comb and couldn't find a single fault. In a jiffy, she was signed off, sealed and delivered. Hein posed for a last photograph, and then Butch wound down the fabulous awning, and off he went.

The Honey Badger is now licensed and roadworthy; she weighs a perfect 5 tonnes with all her tanks full. She's a [specific camper model], registered with new plates, and boasts features such as [mention key features]. She is beautiful, slim, sleek, and super sexy. As I’m fond of saying, she’s as white and pure as the driven snow.

Poor girl needs new tyres and rims, but that will happen this week if all goes well. The rims ordered from Australia will arrive too late, so custom-built rims will be delivered. Her new tyres are ready and waiting. An urgent S.O.S has been dispatched re a winch, which is sorely needed to hoist the tyres.

With my photographs, I'll take you on a tour. Step up the automatic descending stairs. Climb aboard and cast your eyes around. You’ll be surprised by how spacious it is. With careful planning, the space looks deceptive: a mere 10 square metres. We’re all convinced it’s the monochrome palette. White. In all its shades. Different textures on the walls, ceilings, countertops, cupboard doors, and drawers draw the eye inward. Some surfaces reflect light, others absorb it, and a few strategically placed mirrors enhance the sense of space. The natural texture of the grainy wooden floor is warm, comfortable, and non-slip. The kitchen and bathroom fittings are modern and highly functional. Brushed stainless steel is aesthetically pleasing, and scuffs and scratches will be camouflaged.

White blinds can be wound down at night and are repeated over the crawl-through hatch. Every window has mosquito and bug netting. The two roof hatches bring in brilliant light and help circulate cool air throughout the living space and bathroom. The padded ceiling adds a touch of glamour, but, most importantly, it buffers sound and vibration. Since the cab's ceiling has been restored, we can hear each other while driving; we can even listen to our Audible book.

While enjoying our early-morning coffee, we can open the large picture window in the dining area; this also gives us the perfect shot of a waterhole. On Saturday, we spotted our first wildlife in the dustbin: a huge rain spider!

Space is limited, but the island-style bed tapers at the foot end to provide easy access to storage, wardrobes, and cupboards. Clever curves on corner countertops, such as the dressing table, maximise space and functionality. Although the space saved is slight, it makes the interior feel more open and livable.

The refrigerator, stove and sink are all Dometic and work perfectly. The hot water geyser runs on gas or electricity. Electricity is either 12 V or 220 V and is supplied via 4 deep-cycle batteries, which are charged by the truck's alternator, 2 solar panels, and, when available, external power. We are told we should be able to keep the lights on for 5 to 6 days on the batteries alone. 'Bye-bye Eskom! Bye-bye Eskom! We're off the grid!' A big thank you to everyone who helped us set up these systems; your support makes us feel grateful and connected.

We have ample storage space, and I think that if we pack diligently, we’ll lack for nothing. Fortunately, we also have large hatches on the outside and a very handy outdoor “kitchen”. The highlight will be the outdoor shower. Imagine a shower in the wild under the stars. Heaven.

On my wish list - sufficient sockets. We have them! All over the place, and what's more, we have three- and two-prong sockets; we even have USB ports for our electronic equipment. Thanks to our electrical supply equipment, we should not run out of light.

On Friday, we packed only the essentials for a weekend camping expedition to Onrus, our home from home. Spring is clearly visible as trees start to blossom, vineyards bud, and Canola fields are almost in full bloom. In the nick of time. I hope this makes you eager to explore new places with us.

The caravan park was virtually empty so that we could pick our sites. We chose one with open stands on either side, full afternoon sun, and a view of waves crashing onto the rocks. By Sunday, we’d taken up three spots, spreading ourselves out very comfortably.

Onrus Caravan Park must surely be one of the prettiest in the country. Sadly, I believe security is a problem; regular campers have had unpleasant experiences and are very hesitant to return. I did find the maintenance lacking, but it's winter; hopefully by spring, and certainly by summer, things would have improved. The ladies at the gate are very friendly and trusting; we only settled our bill on Sunday. I also noticed security doing night patrols.

After a successful braai on Friday night, we sat outside and watched the moon turn blood-red. Like our Badger, exceptional. We were all exhausted, so after a good sighting we succumbed to sleep. Spooning in our new bed is recommended. No good going to bed in a huff. I drifted off after a few pages, enjoying the brilliant, sleek bedside light.

It was all systems go very early on Saturday morning. We had invited all our friends and family to an open “house” and later a boerie roll (hotdog). Our guests were asked to bring a chair, a hat and beverages. With limited space, we couldn’t be as generous as we’d like. While I was making the bed on Saturday morning, I renamed our soft toy, a travelling Honey Badger; in future, she will be known as Mearl. It suits her. 

By 11h30, Butch had set himself up comfortably on his outdoor director’s chair.  He looked like a salesperson at the Bloemfontein Agricultural Show.  All he needed was a client. He had all the relevant information, statistics, volumes and amps down pat.

The day turned out beautifully. Compliments were flying around as we beamed like proud new parents. My dad carried out a thorough inspection of every seam, nut, bolt and finish. He was impressed. I do believe we surprised even the sceptics with our very professional Overlander truck. Boys will be boys, and we also carried out a thorough check of her undercarriage.

On Sunday, more friends dropped in, and once again they loved our Honey Badger. Packing up late Sunday afternoon went at a brisk pace, but we decided to spend another night in her and drove back to Worcester at a leisurely pace on Monday morning. Later that morning, I re-packed, removing all the unwanted items; I swept, dusted and wiped while I grinned like a Cheshire cat.

She’ll be serviced before her new tyres arrive, and hopefully we’ll be off on another expedition next weekend. This time to the Tankwa Karoo, where we’ll have to battle the elements without electricity. Bush camping. We can’t wait. 

Filling the two diesel tanks was an eye-opener; I was dumbstruck as I watched the litres and SA Rands mount at an alarming rate. "n Plaas se geld" (the price of a farm), I tell you.

Once again, I’d like to thank all the staff at AC Motor Homes, particularly Hein, a man of his word who knows what’s best and stood his ground when I became demanding. He certainly knows his oats. He doesn't change a good recipe; I know why. Thank you, Juanita, from Multi Blinds and Décor, for your help in choosing fabrics and my beautiful headboard.

Johan Lochner, thank you for always being willing to help with a big smile; nothing is too much trouble or impossible. Brandwacht Diesel will be servicing her this week. Thanks, Ben. Mossie at King Tyres always gives us sound advice. His enthusiasm is infectious. Lastly, I'd like to thank you, my blog readers, for following this journey with us. Watch this space; we hope to share more stories and titbits in the future, too.

This is going to be our pension; on every trip, we'll deposit photographs, stories, adventures, thrills, and spills into our memory bank.  We're going to be a glorious old age. 

"If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it!" Frank Zappa