Have NO Passport. Will NOT Travel.

Picture the scene:   you're late, you're brushing your teeth, and above the whine of the electric toothbrush, you hear this "Darling! Have you got your passport?"  By now, you've had it and shout back "yesh" loudly.  Spraying toothpaste foam all over your new black cashmere sweater.   I received the following email this week.

Have you got your passport???

 “YESSSSS!!!!!! You have asked me like 8 TIMES in the last 2 DAAAYYYYSSS!!! It’s in my handbag, in the inside ZIP! STOP ASKING ME! Grrrr!”

  She cannot wait for this holiday. I’m a walking zombie at the moment, BUT it’s all worth it because in about 4 hours I will be lying on a beach in Tofo, soaking up the sun… 10 days of NOTHING! CANNOT WAIT!!!!

 We are checked in, luggage gone through- was a BIT nervous that it would be too heavy, but it wasn’t! YAY! Rushed off to get a few last-minute goodies from Woolies … you know, cheese, butter, nachos chips….things not easily found at the Tofo market! After a last-minute dash into the chemist, it’s off to passport control, and we’ll be ON OUR WAY! I can almost taste my first bite of a fresh pão with melted butter and cheese!

 As I stroll through the security check, I am silently pleased that I DIDN’T set off the alarm….it seems these days it always goes off on a domestic flight, so I was randomly chuffed that it didn’t. I casually strolled over to the passport controller… trying to look kinda bored – not that I was worried, because I wasn’t, but I always try to look bored for some odd reason anyway?!?!

And that’s when it happened - ” This isn’t a valid passport,” said so nonchalantly, you’d think we were talking about the weather! “WHAT!?!?!?!” “It's expired, I can’t let you through”

I actually don’t know how to describe the feeling I felt then – it was one of those “out of body”, totally surreal feelings. I, of course, resorted to what normally works – TEARS! And a LOT of them! But sadly, NO amount of tears would change this. Again, thinking back to how arbitrary this was for them, I guess this happens quite often… not sure if that should make me feel better? It doesn’t.

Of course, my poor husband, who, granted, can live on 4 hours of sleep and be in Zombie mode for looong periods of time… he is a workaholic… anyway, he was checked in and now, strictly speaking, “Out of the country,” which meant he couldn’t come with me.

I said, “Go just GO! I will meet you in Mozambique tomorrow,” but he, quite wisely (or stupidly, depending on how you look at it), said, “Nope, when things go wrong, it often goes very wrong so that I will stay here.” Took him about 2 hours to get “back into” the country and get our luggage.

In the meantime, I have gone back to where we checked in, and on their system, they had my CORRECT passport details, which is why it wasn’t picked up sooner, since I have flown with my CORRECT passport before. Oh yes, let me explain, it’s not that I only have an expired passport, it’s that I took the WRONG Passport. But as my husband said…. when things go wrong, it goes very wrong”.

I mean, I honestly thought this was going to be a day-long delay, as all the conundrums were being solved quite quickly… once again, not by me… in a crisis, I go into meltdown mode. Still, my hubby is a problem solver… turns out THE REASON he kept asking me about my passport was that, about a month before, he was, in fact, in a scenario where one of his colleagues kinda forgot that going to a meeting in Lesotho meant you needed your passport! BUT they solved it, you can fly it up in CARGO on the next flight up from CT to Jhb/Bloem.

NOW, it was to find the passport! As luck would have it, I had a friend staying at our house, and I thought YES, this is why their apartment isn’t ready, it’s purely so that she HAD to stay at the house and FIND MY PASSPORT! Many hours later, after all my odd secret things have been exposed to my friend, who now knows me a LOT better… still no passport… (unhappy face).

That is when the real panic set in and the thought that we may actually not get to Mozambique AT ALL….all those extra hours at work and all the rushing and waking up at 4 am because your over active mind has too much on the go…..will not have time to chill and R E L A X for 10 days….oh and to have my workaholic husband around 24/7 for 10 days with limited internet access BLISS! Well, I hoped we wouldn’t kill each other, I mean, how often do we spend sooo much proper quality time with our partners anymore?!?!

Determined to give this everything, I purchased a VERY last-minute flight down to CT that same afternoon to search for the passport myself, and booked the 9 pm flight back…very hopeful. This gave me about an hour and a half in total… my brother was waiting at Drop & Go, and we raced home!

Sadly, I am STILL in Cape Town, and instead of lying in the sun tanning on the beach, reading my book, and sipping a Tipo Tinto with orange juice…I am at work (unhappy face).

They say things happen for a reason, and I guess I am NOT meant to be in Mozambique this week, which is why my passport has decided to play Hide and Seek with me…… It's winning!!

What have I learnt from this:

Don’t treat a holiday to one of your neighbouring countries as less than an ACTUAL overseas flight – just because we don’t need visas, don’t be less than prepared.      
Never EVER book a ticket without holding your physical passport in your hand (or anyone else’s you are booking the tickets for).
We all have copies online…. don’t do it!
It’s not actually a catastrophe; it’s just a holiday….it can be rescheduled.
My husband would win the Husband of the Year Award if there were such a thing, because I would NOT have been as understanding and supportive as he has been… had the roles been reversed…I’d most likely be lying tanning on the beach, reading my book, and sipping on some Tipo Tinto with orange juice instead!!

Post written by Princess Open Book, aka Anna

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Anna now has a son who’s six years old, a bright little button who’s travelled to London, Guernsey, Paris, the Kgalagadi,

and soon he’ll be jetting off to the Drakensberg for his family holiday. Passports are always in order.