Progress Report - This Is No Faerie Tale

Work continues at a steady pace. The piercing, shrill, whining screech of a grinder fills the air, while the white light of the welding rod blinds, yet fascinates. Sparks fly. Work is progressing. The air is infused with the smell of grease, lubricating oil and diesel. Men in overalls and helmets dominate.

There are no time limits to contend with; we’re not going anywhere in the foreseeable future. Good news. Doing a conversion like this is not child’s play. Every nut, bolt or rivet has to be perfectly placed, turned and tuned. Don’t think keen eyes miss a shoddy welding spot. Nope.
To the expert eye, a glance may tell a different story, but ensuring the vehicle is safe, sound, and solid is our top priority. Words like wind resistance and roadworthiness help the audience feel assured about the project's focus on safety.

With a tight budget, we're exploring DIY options and cost-effective solutions, like repurposing parts or sourcing affordable materials online. This approach influences our design choices, ensuring we stay within financial limits while maintaining quality.

When a new concept is considered, or solutions have to be developed, the prototype is often the starting point. There’ve been many “firsts” here. Fitting tanks, pipes, and batteries is like building puzzles. Efficiency, accessibility, and economy must be prioritised. Minor changes can make an enormous difference, and the size and scale of a new design may take weeks to perfect. The Earl has brilliantly made it possible for most to access the engine without tilting the cab.

The Precious Prince tosses and turns. I hear him feigning sleep, mulling things over. Clogs turning as ideas tick-tock and then, click, into place. He’s a noisy sleeper, so his silent restlessness clang-clangs like an ancient bell in the darkness. All his skills as a negotiator, pacifier and arbitrator will be put to good use as brilliant brains with years of expertise clash. This is an orchestra; he is the conductor.

Investigating is what we do most days. Bathrooms, kitchens, electrical layouts and gas piping. We do not want to re-invent the wheel. Motorhomes are a big industry. Some manufacturers are helpful, willing to share expertise and ideas. Our first recce is to Vista Homes in Somerset West. We inspect their bathrooms, custom-made for their clients. I didn’t realise a shower room could be this small, yet it functions perfectly with all the gadgets in place. We need to huddle on this one; I think ours will have to be even smaller.  Their work is of the highest quality, and I become quite nervous.  Are we going to get it right?  I'm assured we will.

As the structural bodywork concludes, it’s time to lay the gas and electrical cabling. Meetings with Andrie Everson and his assistant, JP, from Pro Fitment Centre have been held, and plans have been drawn up showing where pipes must be laid. We’ve been advised that it would make practical sense to lay cables in ducts so they can be accessed more easily if needed. 

Everything we own has a plug of some sort, be it three-prong, two-prong, European, Asian, Canadian, US or USB. I’m insisting on having more, rather than fewer, plugs, with the most popular with every pad. Lighting will be LED. Our workstation will double as a dining/sitting area, so much thought will go into the design. Comfort will be important, but conscientious consideration must be given to utilising the limited space. I wish I had one of those Japanese architects “on board” to plan a small space to the max.

Windows were sourced and found. We all agree less is more. So, we’ve opted for sliding windows with built-in insect gauze and roll-up blinds. Being photographers makes it necessary for us to have quick/easy access to “shooting” space, so we’d like large windows and one-fold-up window with unencumbered, wide-angle viewing; hopefully we’ll be able to set up Gimble heads too.

Being claustrophobic has its limitations, so it’s heart-warming to know we’ll have plenty of light from the many windows and the skylights. I’ll lie on my "island" bed and look at the gazillion stars and constellations on a sleepless night, while I listen to the wishy-washy washing of the washing machine (the one appliance I insist on). In our explorations, we saw a stove/convection oven/microwave too. It's small, compact, and made of stainless steel. I spot someone licking his pencil, a budget reminder.

We’re the outdoorsy type who like spending as much time as possible outdoors; we enjoy cooking and having our meals together, bathing under the stars, and relaxing under the trees. With all these requirements, our outdoor setup has been carefully planned to include an outdoor kitchen, shower, and awning. Utilising the limited space for our camping gear will have to be done by the millimetre.

Although it’s still too early to really think about the vehicle's decor, I have begun browsing decorating magazines for the latest innovative ideas. Sleek, Swedish minimalism is what I’d like. I want to hear the smooth swoosh of drawers and cupboards clicking shut. Use of minimal space becomes economical, maximizing storage, etc. But I’m putting the cart before the horse.

Today the big guns got together for a meeting. The Earl meets the Grand Duke; they go over every square inch of the engineering, and it’s all nods of approval. Some advice is ladled out, but it seems we’re on track. The Prince is beaming again.

The very photogenic back of the van is starting to take shape and looks very butch, no pun intended. My first task was to source the paint colour. I like my Safari Sand; will we blend and meld with our African sand, I muse, and I think so.

I can hear gentle rumblings coming from the bedroom, someone is snoring peacefully. All is well in his Kingdom and there’s no poison apple or big bad wolf. Yet.

For advice, counselling, tricks or just to chat email us at [email protected]

Photographs are not in any particular order.