Schatzie Goes Hands, Knees And Bump-Sa-Daisy

That’s exactly how I made my descent into the Fish River Canyon—slowly, with measured steps, often on my behind, and with proper safety gear like sturdy boots and gloves. I had no dignity as I squatted to slide down rocks, but I was prepared for the challenge. When did my legs shorten? It was after 55. The audience looking down must’ve rolled their eyes while they whispered tut-tuts behind cupped hands, sniggering sympathetically. I wasn’t oozing confidence. But believe me, they were all wrong. I did it, and furthermore, my time wasn’t too shabby either.

Slate, shale, boulders, granite rocks, and gneiss bedrock, thick sand, coarse gravel, and fine, powdery, stretchy beaches must be negotiated over 88km after the gruelling 2km descent. Trail difficulty varies, so carry a detailed map and GPS. Game trails are misleading, and the sparse vegetation offers little relief from the relentless Namibian sun, so plan your water and shade breaks carefully.

Oh, how I loved it! On the rocks I was as slow as a packhorse, tapping unthinkingly with my walking stick, hoping neither of us gets stuck in the grooves and crevasses. The balancing act doesn’t come naturally to me (too many bouts of earache as a child and pathetic core muscles), so I rolled, wobbled and stumbled along, always keeping my eyes on my feet and my peripheral vision on the sand beyond, my beacon in the dark. Overcoming these hurdles made me feel proud and eager to try again.

The sand had its challenges too; heavy, unrelenting and hard on our calves, it pummelled our muscles until we wished for boulders again. Once on terra firma, though, we could get our swing back, lengthen our strides and get into our natural rhythm. Additionally, with every step, we got fitter, abler, and more adept at the conditions.

On day 2 we wallowed in the hot water at Palm Springs, but when the small fish started nibbling on my legs, exfoliating them, I shot up and out. For the record, I am a shrinking violet. We picnicked and rinsed our undergarments and socks while sunbathing on the warm rocks like lazy lizards.

Dave was entertained and bewitched by the Olive Thrush who’d fallen in love with his boot. During the day, we saw Sacred Ibis, Swifts, and Starlings that have become accustomed to morsels left by hikers. We salvaged the first of three barbecue grills (braai roosters) left behind by previous hikers.

After a rejuvenating siesta at the springs, we pressed on and made camp along the banks of a large pool. We were rewarded with a visit by three wild horses: a mare, a colt and a stallion. As the sun set golden, we watched them languidly crossing the river to graze. Sharing these moments made me feel connected and inspired to seek similar bonds in nature.

By day 3, Heidi was hiking as she had before her skiing accident and subsequent hip dilemma; this girl can walk! Our bodies were adapting, and we made good progress as the terrain changed with every turn and the hard gravel paths grew kinder. We had an audience at breakfast; a large troupe of baboons kept a close watch on us, and sentinels were strategically placed as the family groomed themselves.

With a wrong foot and a string of bad luck, Tweet landed on her nose. Fortunately, no broken bones, just a bruised thigh; things were going so well. On closer inspection, I discovered two pressure blisters between my baby toes. Sadly, my camera batteries only lasted until sunset; no more photography for me. So disappointed. Recognizing these setbacks made me appreciate my resilience and the minor victories along the way.

Besides changing into clean underwear and socks, I was still sporting my original shorts, T-shirt, and strappy top. I was not bothered at all. Earthy. My meagre possessions lay snugly next to me at night; I could hardly lose anything and at the drop of a hat I could locate whatever I needed. I decided to hang my small cup on the outside of my bag; it jingled as I walked, hopped, skipped and jumped. To catch up with Mariclaire’s early-morning start, I resorted to stuffing my sleeping bag, groundsheet, and liner haphazardly into my knapsack, then sat on top to squash it all down before zipping it up. I speeded up. My laces were hanging by a thread, and I didn’t have replacements. They were new. Damn. My boots will forever be my best friends.

Day 4 – my favourite day. We covered a respectful distance, passed the 50km mark, and took a shortcut. At breakfast, two groups of hikers passed us while we enjoyed our breakfast; we were perplexed by the flag they carried, but they were young and restless, fast and furious. Anton and his children also marched by at a brisk pace, looking glamorous, fresh and fit, but we’d encounter them later as they would take a wrong turn and must double back. We saw the skeleton of a Kudu, spotted a Cormorant and a friendly Wagtail. On a sandy dune, we saw the fascinating spoor of two water monitors, and after sunset, we heard the yelp of a jackal.

After reading all about the Von Trotha's Grave, we paid our respects. Second Lieutenant Thilo von Trotha, a nephew of the well-known Lieutenant General Lothar von Trotha, died here in 1905 during a confrontation between German soldiers and native Namas. He must be fascinated by all the attention he gets more than a century after his death; he’s still remembered so fondly.

Along a wide stretch of sandy beach, we made our last camp on Long Lake. My toes were in a sorry state, but nothing a little TLC couldn’t sort out; I had the equipment after all. To loosen our weary muscles, Tweet, Mariclaire and I indulged in a short “yoga” romp; we should’ve done it sooner. Stretching certainly loosened my muscles from my fingertips all the way down my spine, legs and weary toes. We stretched and reached for the stars, galaxies and Milky Way! A lone Fish Eagle circled and called his lonely cry as he threw his head back and flew to another cliff. In a circle we sat and watched Chef prepare another delicious pot; we were truly spoilt as we tucked into another one of Mariclaire’s original culinary masterpieces.

Our 5th day promised to be short and sweet. A 5-hour hike back to Ai-Ais. The day was perfect as we hitched our backpacks and set off in the cool morning. After a relaxing breakfast, we negotiated the last tiresome river stones and boulders. As predicted, the wind came up at lunchtime. To escape a sandy lunch snack, we sat ourselves down on some large, flat boulders right in the centre of the dry riverbed. We snacked on all our leftover bits and pieces, making the most of our last meal.

We arrived at Ai-Ais, exhausted yet thrilled. With gusto, we rang the brass bell to announce ourselves before we hurled ourselves at the overwhelmed bartender to order rounds of beer.

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OUR EXTRAORDINARY DINNER MENUS:

Supper would be a one-pot dish (Dave carried the pot) with a basic recipe of sautéed onion and garlic in olive oil. A carb would be added, along with an assortment of pre-packed sauces, a protein, and stock. 4 hikers each carried a 1kg bag of rations, while some shared utensils or charcoal.

1. Chicken Pilaf–rice, smoked chicken breast, seasoning and basil pesto
2. Porcini with Polenta–porcini, chorizo, mushroom sauces, polenta and fresh water
3. Pasta with Bolognaise sauce–pasta sheets, bacon, Bolognese sauce, mushroom sauce, water.
4. Moroccan couscous–Moroccan couscous, chorizo sausage, sundried tomato, water.
5. Desserts: yes, we had those too: Lindt chocolates and Sally Williams Nutty Nougat.

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MY DAYPACK:

(All ingredients were carefully weighed and measured into daily portions, keeping in mind that I would carry the load in a small cool bag)

1. Biltong, droëwors (dried sausage and jerky)
2. Cream cheese and individually wrapped Gouda cheeses.
3. Cucumber, celery (on the bulb lasts for ages), carrot sticks, small red and yellow bell peppers; I cut my veggies and made Subs, delicious.
4. 2x John West flaked tuna–Vinaigrette and Thai dressing
5. Mini Salami (Woolworths)
6. Nuts and seed packs (breakfast)
7. Dried fruit bars (mid-morning), Energy bars (mid-afternoon)
8. Wine Gums and Enerjellies (small packets rationed daily)
9. Game–powdered energy drink–Naartjie flavour (I had 4 packs; could’ve done with 5). On a follow-up hike, I switched to a sugar-free energy tablet. Worked much better; I could add two tabs to my water bottle. I dehydrate quickly.
10. Nescafe Cappuccino sachet–10 (should’ve had a few more)
11. Nomu Hot Chocolate sachet–2 (next time will have more)
12. To prevent cramps, I used a daily dose of Slow Mag, which also flavoured my first water bottle.
13. I took anti-inflammatory tablets and just as well! Plasters too.

(TEA–Herbal teas will be added next time; I didn’t think I’d enjoy them, but Heidi kindly gave me a tea bag when my coffee ran out, and I enjoyed it. Afterwards, I dropped my used tea bag into my water bottle, which added a pleasant flavour.)

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Pleasant Surprises:

Forbes Water Bottle with filter–worked like a charm, but sprang a leak…
Quality of the drinking water–good, especially if flavoured slightly! No runny tummies.
An abundance of wood for the pot and for coffee.Glad I took:  Sunscreen, notebook and pen, surfer's hat (contemplated using its chin strap when my laces went), sunglasses, kikkoi.

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(Bitter) Disappointments:

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Finally: maintenance work is not a high priority; a pity. Several chains essential to the descent are in disrepair and should, for everyone’s safety, be repaired and regularly inspected.

The Super Troopers:

We had the time of our lives; sleeping under the stars was magnificent. How will I ever be happy with 4 or even 5 stars? Sharing stories and anecdotes with people I hardly knew was refreshing. I’ll say it one last time: we were truly blessed! Should you ever have the opportunity or inclination to partake in such an adventure, GO FOR IT!

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P.S. Kitsel, we thought of you, and wherever possible we placed small stones on the cairns to honour your short but special life. RIP in cat heaven; you’ve got 6 lives to go.

Here we are, the savvy seven, exhausted, thrilled, energised, thirsty, dusty and ready for a dip in the pool.

P.S. would love to know who OUTA is. They did the Canyon from Ai-Ais and left regular updates telling us the time they passed certain landmarks; they were hot-footing it through there.  Interesting.